Midnight Dreams

My Weekend

2006-02-28T13:04:00.000-06:00

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Friday Friday Friday~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I remember right, Billy and I went back to his parent's house, like we have been doing the whole week, and pulled out carpet, take a couch apart, and fix the stairs. After that, we went home and chilled out like we normally do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Saturday Saturday Saturday~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Billy had to help his parents move from their apartmment to their new house. I didn't work today even though I wish I did. We could really use the money. So I stayed home because I know I would have been no use trying to pick up heavy stuff. I took a nice hot bath that smelled like peaches. I needed a hot bath for a long time now. Having to put up with Billy really causes a lot of pain. He came home about 1ish since his mom and dad had to go to a luncheon for their parents aniversay. Billy took a nap when he got home. I had choir at 5pm I saw my ex there for the first time in months. He kept staring at me *shivers*. I dated him for about 3 and a half years until he told me that he doesn't have time for a girlfriend anymore. I found that a HUGE lie. I saw him always hanging out with his friends and stuff. Oh well. I found someone who I truely love and truely loves me. I did my solo, which went really well. I was happy.. I drove to my parents house and cleaned some of my old room. Then we went to target, jewel, and Slott's Hotts *It is a hot dog place. It wasn't until 9pm when I got home. It was quiet when I got home and I didn't see Billy anywhere nor his shoes. So I thought maybe he went out with his friend, Mike. Nope, as soon as I walked in the door, he was standing right behind it. Then I went on the computer and relaxed, then went to bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sunday Sunday Sunday~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, Billy had to go back to his parents house to help them move. About 2pm, I took a hot bath and relaxed. Billy came home and told me that his parents and him went to Avalon for lunch/dinner and brought me back something. He brought me back cream of chicken with rice, Monte Carlos *this one had ham and turkey*, and jello. It was really good. Yummy! But Billy told his mom that I didn't like it. Now that pissed me off. Now I can't go to his parents house for awhile because I don't want his mom to be angry at me. Billy took a nap when we were suppose to go shopping for food. Oh well. So, I did more computer stuff and went to bed.

Death..Today..Weekend...

2006-02-19T14:35:00.000-06:00

I was thinking a lot lately. After watching a movie today called, "Only If". I never knew it was important to tell someone that you love them, until it is too late. This movie showed me that it is never enough to say " I love you" before it is too late. I always wonder what would happen if I was really sick or hurt...I'm not sure if other people ever think about things like that. Or what if someone I loved got hurt or sick.. I don't know how I would react.. I guess I would react in a shock and worried way.

I had this strange and horrifying nightmare lastnight. I was at a neighbor's house across the street and there was a family. A Husband, a Wife, and a little girl. The husband and wife don't get along very well at all. In fact, they hate each other. Well, the husband had a very bad anger management problem and he was a serial killer.I was at their house and the husband got angry. I waas telling the wife that she needs to leave him and take her child with her. She was gonna leave, but it was too late. Her husband took the keys to their van and made it drive by itself. That way she couldn't leave him. I looked back at thier house and he was laughing and pointing at the van, which was about down the street. Then, he showed me a knife and left. I started screaming for the wife, but she didn't hear me. I quickly ran into the house and there was the husband whipping the knife off. It was dripping with blood. Then I woke up and thought I saw someone in the house holding a knife. I had to wake Billy up. I was in tears. It took me a long time to fall asleep.
What I did today?? Today I mostly stayed home. I've been watching some movies on "Fox Family". Then Billy and I went to get Ice cream...YUMMY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Friday Friday Friday~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today, I went to Billys mom's house. She called me asking me to come over and help her. I mostly helped Billy and stuck around him. He was busy. His mom wanted me to go to indiana with them on Saturday. Of course, I couldn't go. I had to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Saturday Saturday Saturday~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today, I woke up about 6Am and I got in the shower. Billy woke up around 7am. Billy and I left at the same time. But my car door was frozen shut lol. I had to get Billy to open it for me. It took a long time for my car to run. I finally got it started and I went to work. It was freezing. I was suppose to go to chruch at 5pm, but I never made it. I'm so upset because I was suppose to do the my solo. I didn't get home from work until 5:30ish -6pm. Then I just sat around. I must have went to bed around 8:30ish. I was dead tired.

I already wrote about today :) Now I am watching "Six Sense" and it is sad :'( I've been crying at these sad movies... I hate sad movies but sometimes they are good. Well, I am gonna stop writing and copy and paste this into my Xanga. I'm going to go back and talk to Sierra and Billy.

2006-02-19T13:14:00.000-06:00

SURVEY SAYS:
birthday: October 10, 1985
family: Cathy- grandmother Ginni- mother/sister, Mic- uncle/brother
pets: 5 birds
closest family member:
school name: none now.
do you have 'spirit'? no lol
fav subject: Math
cafeteria food: Some was okay.

this or that?
pop or country? both
rap or rock? Rock
classical or latin? both
chicken or beef? Chicken
fruits or veggies? both
horror or comedy? Horror
theatre or renting? I like both actually
city or country? City, but country for stars and horseback riding
livejournal or xanga? XANGA
silver or gold? both are okay
surfing or skateboarding? Surfs up Dude
tv or computer? Ohhh thats rough...but Computer
summer or winter? SUMMER
spring or fall? both
bush or kerry? not too political though
prolife or prochoice? not sure really
color: Blue, Black, Red, Purple
animal: ALL!
food: Pasta and Pizza and Gravy Bread are my fav
candy: anything fruity... mmmmmmm
song: "Thank You" It was written for a friend who was killed in 2003.
band: Not sure anymore. I like all kinds
movie: Too many to name
hangout place: anywhere where I can just chill
drink: Mountain Dew, Sunkist
game: Sims 2
sport: Soccer, Basketball, Football
radio station: 103.5, 103.7
tv station: CN (cartoon network), Nick, Disney, A&E, Fox, etc
tv show: Crossing Jordan
smell: Anything good
flower: Roses
store: Best Buy, Target, Kohls
teacher: Mr. Myren

which one of your friends is....
the sweetest: toughy
the most understanding: Justin
the best listener: Justin and Sierra
the most caring: Justin and Sierra
the funniest: Sierra
the craziest: not sure
the smartest: Justin
the best singer: not sure
the most interesting:
the most honest: Justin
the most trustful: Not sure
the cutest: Girl: toughy Boy: Justin

crazy questions
if you were an m&m, which one would you be and why? Brown because it is already in its natural colour
what do you want to do when you're out of school? Sing
if you were an animal, which would you be and why? Tough question
what song best describes you and why? ....
which friend of yours do you identify with most and how? huh?

about love
do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? boyfriend
-name? Billy
-what do you like most about them? Not sure
do you have a crush?not sure
-do they know that you like them?
-what do you like most about them?
do you plan on marriage? yes
do you believe in love at first sight? sure
do you believe in soul mates? I believe there is someone for everyone...some one that not only completes you, but compliments who u are....
do you want children after marriage? yeah sure
whats the most important thing to you in a relationship?Trust in which I don't have in my relationship
what song reminds you of your bf/gf or crush?
when was the last time you...
told someone you loved them: Family and Friends and boyfriend...all the time.
brushed you teeth: earlier
ate food:about 10 minutes ago
saw a movie: Just watched "If Only" It was really sad and I cried.
danced: I don't know.
told someone how you felt about them: Everyday, you never know what might happen to you or the person.
saw your best friend: never :'(

10 Random things about ME:

1. I cry during sad movies.

2. I like to go out to places and have fun

3. I like to drink

3. I love FOOD! It’s a weakness of mine!

4. I fell for someone

5. I live with my boyfriend in a tiny apartment in Waukegan

6. I fall asleep where ever I am sitting/laying at.

7. I like to sit around naked a lot especially after showers

8. I like to play intruments like paino and guitar

9. I laugh at stupid commercials

10. I like to travel

9 Ways to Win My Heart (in no particular order)

1. A fun time

2. Food

3. Shows interest in music and performing like I do.

4. Chivalrous-walks me home, opens doors…ect….

5. loves to go out

6. Hates Smoking in all forms

7. Adventurous and outgoing

8. personality

9. loves food

8 Places I’ve visited

1. Wisconsin

2. California

3. Florida

4. Indiana

7 Things I want to Do Before I DIE

1. Travel all over the world

2. Make Cds people love

3. Finish college

4. Find the perfect job

5. Go On Tour

6. Have or adopt children

7. Meet Celebraties

my weekend

2006-02-13T00:25:00.000-06:00

saturday saturday saturday

I woke up at 6 in the morning and got ready for work. I left for work around 7:15. I got to work and I saw my supervisor. She told me that I was Daffy today :) I was excited. I love being in character. We went around the training trailers and caused chaos lol. It was me as Daffy and Chad as bugs bunny. He is a really nice guy, but I think he is gay. I honestly don't have a problem with that at all. LMAO! We were on a walk outside *In the snow btw* and Bug bunny decides to act like a car and drive around the cones. Well, Bugs slipped on Ice and fell LMAO! That was funny. But he got muddy, so that wasn't good. Then, we went on Rte. 21 *which is a really busy street* and waved at the cars as they went pass. Lots of people honked, waved, and stuck up their middle fingers at all... I looked like a very old Daffy duck because of the snow lol. Then, we got free food. Yummy. After that we did another walk around the trailers. I *as bad as I am and an accident prone* didn't see a couple of chairs and fell in front of everyone that was in the room we were in. Man, was that ambarrassing. Then we got off early because no one was showing up for the job fair. It really sucked. Then, when I was driving home, some asshole decided to cut me off. We were sitting at a light and he was pulling out from a parking lot. I was practically bumper-to-bumper with the guy in front of me and this guy decided to pull out and almost hit my car. I honked my horn and stuck up my middle finger at him. I know he say that too and I'm glad. I went home and did a few things then left again. I went to choir practice as normal and was talking to Mr.Mosier. Then I did my solo * which went okay as ussual* Then I called Billy and see if he wanted me to pick him up from his parent's house. I was invited for dinner :) We had a deep dish Pizza with Cheese, Spinich, and pepperoni. YUMMY! Then we stayed over for a little while longer and watched some crap on TV and Ice Age *What a funny movie =D. We finally left. We didn't get home til at least 9pm. I was so tired. When we got home, I did some computer stuff and went to bed.

Sunday Sunday Sunday
I woke up at 7ish and was crabby. I wanted to go back to bed, but didn't. Billy had to get ready since his dad called and was on his way to pick him up. He went back to his parents house to do some more work there. I stayed home and did more computer stuff until it was about 10AM when I had to start getting ready to leave. I finished up what I did and had to find my licence. omg I almost freaked because I thought it was in my work jacket and realized it wasn't. So the last several times I drove, I didn't have my licence with me. But luckly, I found it. Then I left. I got to my grandma's house and she told me that I had some mail in my old bedroom on the floor. She got me some valentine's day goodies :) I got candy, a keychain, stickers, a sticker book, peeps, etc. Then, we went to the gas station to get gas and a bottle of pink lemonade and Mountain Dew. Then we were on our way to my favorite hometown, Chicago. I was starting to feel sick because of something and had to stop at a 7-11 to get some meds. they didn't have anything in bottles.. only packs that came with 2 pills. Pissed me off and what was worse was, they are oval type kinda. I can only take the circle types. We got to my moms house and she showed me her engagement ring. It was pretty. Then I went through boxes of stuff and picked what I wanted to bring home and what I didn't. I picked a lot of it. I even have a mini fake christmas tree and some ornaments lmao! After I finished, we packed up the car and went to Danny's. I got soup, salad, gravy bread *YUMMY!!! My favorite!*, garlic bread, and cheese ravioli. I feel like a pig. I ate so much, but it was good. I accidently took off my rings when I was eating the gravy bread and forgot them on the table. *cries* We went to jewel after driving back to Gurnee and when I went to use the bathroom *yes shocking, I hardly EVER use public bathrooms unless it is a 911 call lmao*, I noticed my rings were missing when I was washing my hands. I called my mom and ask her to call Danny's and see if they have it. Luckily, someone she works with found the rings and is holding it until my mom goes back to work on Tuesday. My mom is gonna mail me back my rings. One is my high school class ring, and the other is my mood ring. After shopping for food, we went back to my grandma's house and I called Billy to let him know that I will be coming home soon. I backed my car into the driveway and we loaded my car. I called Billy again, but he didn't answer the phone. So I got home and I saw him asleep. I was pissed off! I must have made over 2o trips to and from my car. I carried everything in and they were heavy. I got home around 8PM. and here I am now. Billy is STILL sleeping and I'm going to bed. I will try and write more often. Peace out!

2005-04-29T16:59:00.000-05:00

Thomas Morris Jr.
Thomas Patrick Morris Jr., 44, of Gurnee, died April 21.
He was born Dec. 27, 1960 in Chicago. Mr. Morris was a member of St. Patricks Church in Wadsworth. His activities in the community, he served as a member and president of the Woodland School Board District 50 and was a Grand Knight of St. Patrick's Knights of Columbus 12639. He was a business owner in Gurnee for 13 years.
Survivors include his wife, Joan; two daughters, Kimberleigh and Ashleigh; parents, Thomas and Carol Morris; sister, Tammy (Raymond) Mittelstadt; brother, Todd (Carla) Morris; and special pets, Sonny and Ben.
Funeral services were held April 25 at St. Patrick's Church, Wadsworth with internment following in Ascension Cemetery, Libertyville. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the American Heart Association.
Francesca Rodriguez
Francesca Marie Rodriguez, 18, of Wildwood, died April 20 from injuries sustained in an automobile accident. She was born Dec. 17, 1986 in Chicago and had lived in Wildwood for the past five years.
Ms. Rodriguez, known as "Frenchy" was a senior at Warren Township High School where she was active on the speech team and in theater. "Frenchy" served as a mentor and enjoyed creative writing, particularly poetry. Two of her poems were published and she was a member of the National Honor Society.
Rodriguez is survived by her mother and stepfather, Julienne and Michael Britton of Wildwood; her father, Javier Rodriguez of River Grove; brothers JJ, Anthony and Christopher; grandparents Minnie (Ricardo) Valentine-Campos, Luis Candelaria, Maria Guiterrez and Jose Rodriguez; great-grandmother Julia Garcia; dearest friend Robby Tomei and step-grandparents Dwight and Janet Britton and Linda and Jerry Deubert.
Funeral services were held April 26 at the Burnett-Dane Funeral Home, Libertyville.

Yes, I knew both of these people and it is really sad. Rest in Peace Tom and Frenchy. You both will be dearly missed

2005-03-21T21:07:00.000-06:00

Another death, but not because of the war. Read on:

Town in mourning
Gurnee pastor and son remembered by friends, family
BY SHERYL DE VORE ASSISTANT MANAGING EDITOR
Five Warren Township High School boys sat around 13 lit candles, a blue rosary and a small spray of wilting daisies Monday night on the porch of their friend, James Gregory, killed in a tragic shooting in Wisconsin Saturday.
They prayed that James, 17, and his father, the Rev. Randy Gregory, 50, also killed, were in a better place. They also prayed that James' mother, Marjean, 52, who was also shot and in critical condition Wednesday at Froedtert Hospital in Wisconsin, would recover and return home soon.
Marjean will come to an empty home in Gurnee. Her husband, Randy, a regional minister for the Living Church of God, and her son, James, a junior at Warren, were shot and killed Saturday when Randy Gregory was preaching to roughly 60 people in a Sheraton Hotel meeting room in Brookfield, Wis. near Milwaukee.
Randy and Marjean's older son, Jonathan, 23, was not at the service. He is staying in Chicago with an aunt to be close to his mother in the hospital, said Randy Gregory's sister, Rita Norrod of Texas, where Randy was raised.
"She is getting better. They expect her to recover," said Norrod of Marjean Gregory.
Visitation
Visitation for Randy Gregory, James Gregory and another victim, Harold Diekmeier, 74, of Delafield, Wis., will be held today from 4-7 p.m. at St. Francis Community Center, 3476 Howard Ave. in St. Francis, Wis., with a memorial service and funeral at 7 p.m.
Police say church member Terry Ratzmann, 44, shot and killed seven people including James and Randy Gregory and wounded four others including Marjean Gregory in the middle of the Saturday service. Ratzmann then shot and killed himself, bringing the number of dead to eight.
Warren Township High School observed a moment of silence at both campuses at the beginning of the school day Monday in honor of James Gregory. The district also has hung mourning bunting at the entrance of each campus. Grief counselors are talking to faculty and students at both campuses.
"It's certainly very sad. I'd say there is still an element of shock. It's almost surreal. This isn't the type of thing you expect will happen with people you know," said Mary Olson, Warren's director of instruction.
Neighbors of the Gregorys as well as students and teachers at Warren High School said the family was quiet, respectful, helpful and religious. Norrod said her brother "was a wonderful person, a quiet man with a good sense of humor ... Ever since he was a teenager he was interested in the Living Church of God," she said. After working at IBM for at least 25 years, Randy and his family moved to Gurnee where he became a preacher full-time, serving three congregations in Peoria, Chicago and Wisconsin, she said.
J.D. Crockett, a pastor at the Living Church of God headquarters in North Carolina, said Randy Gregory was "the nicest man, quiet, but outgoing and responsive, with a big smile on his face. He always had a kind word. He was very good with kids at summer camp. He was unflappable through all the shinned knees and fights. He'd handle it all with a smile .... He was a wonderful man in the prime of his life."
Randy's sister said he and his wife worked hard to raise their two children "to grow up to be nice human beings."
Smart, humorous
James Gregory was that and more, according to close friends and teachers. He was shy around strangers, but not with them, they said. In their eyes, James was smart and religious, but never proselytizing. He accepted everyone. Like his father, he had a good sense of humor. And like many high school boys, he loved playing computer games.
"We had sleepovers. We watched movies, joked, laughed and played games," said Warren freshman Tom Hajnos. "He was never angry at anybody. When someone would pick on him, he'd just shrug it off.
"He never did any drugs," Hajnos added.
Warren teacher Deborah Brown, who had James as a student in her advanced placement European history class last year, said he was "a very quiet kid who was well liked by his classmates" and was "very diligent in getting his work done.
"The few conversations I had with James, he always made me smile because he had kind of this dry humor to him. He was very witty. He didn't usually say a lot, but when he did, it was usually something very funny," said Brown.
"I never heard anything negative come out of his month. He always seemed very upbeat and happy," she said.
Religious
On Saturdays, James would dress in a suit and go to church in Wisconsin with his father and mother to observe the Sabbath and listen to his father preach. The Church of the Living God is a small congregation of Christians, with headquarters in North Carolina.
"James would never enforce his religion," said Leo Bilenko, a Warren junior who is Jewish. "He accepted people and who they were and their ethnicity."
Bilenko attended the Monday night vigil at the Gregory home. As the day began to fade to twilight, the candles glowed brighter -- seven in front for the victims, a single candle surrounded by a rosary for James and Randy, and five vigil candles behind, with daisies laid in the center, which a neighbor had placed on the Gregory mailbox Sunday.
Tom's brother, Adam, a senior, sat quietly watching the candles.
His mother, Eva Hajnos, stopped in her van to bring dinner -- pizza -- since James' friends planned to remain at the vigil for several hours. Eva Hajnos recalled how shocked Adam was when he learned of his friend's death. Adam and James were on the school's academic team, which recently won a meet at Stevenson High School.
"We all knew James," Eva Hajnos said. "He used to come to our house on a daily basis. Adam was his best friend."
When he heard of his friend's death, "Adam just collapsed," she said. "He sat on the ground and started sobbing."
Eva Hajnos remembered James as a respectful boy with a Pierce Brosnan-style hair cut. Whenever he came over, he would say, "Hi, Mrs. Hajnos" and give her a peace sign he waved across his face. "Not all of my sons' friends say hello to me," she said. "James was such a sweet boy. James was probably the cream of the crop," she said referring to his academic skills.
Easing the pain
All she can do to help ease her sons' pain is hug them, she said, and tell them how senseless it was, and talk. "Talking is good," Hajnos said.
Crockett has asked callers to the church to not only pray for the victims and their family, but also for the man who shot them.
"Our hearts go out to the families that lost loved ones ... We ask you to join with us in praying for these families as well as the family of the gunman and ask God to grant them peace in the face of this terrible tragedy," he said.
Neither Eva Hajnos, nor her sons are ready to forgive.
"My heart can't go out to someone like this," she said.
Her sons and their friends also said how ironic it was -- that a boy as selfless as James could have been killed by someone they deemed as "so selfish."
Said Tom Hajnos, "It was the most selfish thing someone could have done, and James was the exact opposite."
Standing in the street while the students kept vigil, neighbors Toni D'Amore and Donna Yamaji planned to make dinner and help Marjean Gregory when she hopefully returns home from the hospital.
D'Amore said James' mother has always been kind and helpful.
"I had some surgery and she'd check on me all the time to see if I was OK. When they get home we want to help her out," said D'Amore. "We are going to do what ever we can when they get home."
Yamaji continues to be shocked by the tragedy.
"It's horrible. It's unthinkable," she said. "My kids had a hard time at school today -- to think they won't ever see James again at the bus stop."
The Warren community has had to cope with other tragedies during the past year, including the deaths of two former students, Geoffrey Morris and Sean Maher, who died in the Iraqi war. "It's been a tough year for the Warren community," said Brown.

another poem but about eric.

2005-03-04T02:58:00.000-06:00

"I sit and wait and wait and sit,
but no luck.
I wait for him to call,
but the phone is silent.
I look outside to see his car,
but there is no car.
I've gone insane because I love him.
I lost a friend, a boyfriend, my companion.
I've lost half a heart and all my life.
I want to die,
but don't know if I should.
My life has ended and now I'm back.
I've died before and died again.
God wanted me to live,
but there isn't much to live for.
I've lived for him and now I'm lost.
I don't know if I'll come back.
My family hates me,
that I know,
and he was one that loved me most.
I wish I can tell him on how much I love him,
but I think it is too late t try and win him back.
I'm sure he hates me for what I did.
If you read this,
this is my way of saying sorry.
If you don't forgive me,
then my life is wasting and I'll leave as soon as possible.
I always hated waiting and sitting.
I've always hated the phone being silent.
I will always love you for the rest of my life.
I love looking for your car because I know one day,
it will be back to where it belongs.
In Front of my house."

more poems....3 in this one.

2005-03-04T02:53:00.000-06:00

"I wish I may,
I wish I might,
Let the death come tonight."

"Today was one of those days,
Where I wish it was my last day.
One minute I was good,
And the next I was in the hospital.
I heard the doctors say, "We are losing her".
It turns out I have stabbed myself.
The wake and funeral was quite a waste.
No one showed that they cared.
As I'm watching myself and everyone else,
I noticed one blue rose laying on me.
Not sure where it came from,
But it is pretty.
Now it’s time for me to go.
I didn’t want this to end this way,
But had no choice.
I will meet my sister, my great-grandfather, and friends once again.
All because I lost the one I loved."

"Death will come,
And now it should,
Now’s my time to say good-bye.
No one at the wake,
No one at the funeral.
I ‘m all alone and left to die.
Not a single flower will be there,
Because I'm all alone and left to die."

Drink-N-Drive

2005-03-04T02:49:00.000-06:00

This is a poem I get in e-mails a lot and it is very sad. My friend was in a car accident and died in 2003 of December. This will at least make you tear....

I went to a birthday party
but I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink at all,
so I had a Sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
the way you said I would,
that I didn't choose to drink or drive,
thought some friends said I should.
I knew I made a healthy choice and
your advice to me was right
as the party finally ended
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my own car,
sure to get home in one piece,
never knowing what was coming,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement.
I can hear the policeman say,
"The kid that caused this wreck was drunk."
His voice seems far away.
My own blood is all around me,
as I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
"This girl is going to die."
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
while he was flying high,
because he chose to drink and drive
that I would have to die.
So why do people do it,
knowing that it ruins lives?
But now the pain is cutting me
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell my sister not to be afraid,
tell Daddy to be brave,
and when I go to heaven to
put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him
that it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his mom and dad had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me, Mom,
as I lay here and die.
I wish that I could say
I love you and good-bye.

Poems

2005-03-03T22:52:00.000-06:00

"A lost young petal

Wondering souls

I see the dream you seek

Follow me please, if you dare.

The dream is coming

For you and me.

I return by your side

With a heart in my hand.

It is like a bright fire dancing

To the slow music turning.

My heart as smooth as ivory

Has turned to a lonely, sulfur.

I retire my heart now to you.

Love me because I love you."

Worse Day ever!

2005-02-26T13:20:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was the worst day I have had. I wish things would be back to normal. But it will never be. Thursday night/Friday morning I was talking to him over the net..I woke up around 11ish and things were okay. I was doing homework and made popcorn for lunch. I get a call at 1:30ish and it was him. I was confused on why he called me because he was suppose to be working. I knew something was up. He wouldn't call me in the afternoon unless it was important. We talked for a bit before he had to go somewhere. After we got off the phone, I was talking to my bestfriend from Chicago on the net. In my head, I kept thinking that everything was okay and that he was going to be alright. In the meantime, I'm talking to my bestfriend over the net and found out her mom was in the hospital. I was worried. I found out that she was okay, which made me happy.
I got a second phone call from him again and I was so happy to hear from him. Little did I know, he thought I already knew about him. I didn't and he told me. I was in tears. I was trying so hard not to cry. I'm glad he said that he was gonna finish what he was doing so he can leave. As soon as I got off the phone, I cried. Honestly I cried so hard. Now I feel like I need to spend more time with him now. I don't like when people are dying. I lost 2 friends who went to Hale school who were shot in the head. I also lost 2 friends duw to suicide and 3 friends because they were killed in Iraq. 52 years old is still young. I'll be 39 or 40 while my friend will be 52! It sucks.. Why do BAD things happen to GOOD people??
I wish all of yesterday was a nightmare. I wanted to wake up from it and know it was just a dream and that everything was okay. But in reality, everything isn't okay and it wasn't a dream. Life sucks and that's that. It won't be the same. I will always look back on this day and wish I never knew until Later on. He is my friend and my angel. Without him, I probably wouldn't be here today.

School

2005-02-22T01:41:00.000-06:00

School has been crazy! Way too much homework to do now. Okay, I like a person. I have no clue what to do.. I'm pissed off at Eric.. He won't return my calls! UGH! I don't know what I can do anymore.. I think I'm just going mentally insane...UGH! Well, I'm tired, so I'll write more later! Night!

2005-02-17T19:49:00.000-06:00

Thousands honor fallen soldier
BY ANGELA D. SYKORA STAFF WRITER
As a Marine, Sean Maher stood out.
He was selected by his platoon leader to participate in a 21-gun salute on Pearl Harbor Day last year.
In his community, he was considered a caring young man who could always be counted on to lend a hand.
These are some of the sentiments spoken as friends and relatives eulogized Maher at his funeral Friday.
As bagpipes played "Amazing Grace" throughout St. Paul the Apostle Church, a crowd of more than 1,000 mourners fell silent in respect for an everyday hero whose life touched so many.
Lance Cpl. Maher, 19, of Grayslake, was killed in action Feb. 2 when his Humvee, the first in a convoy, was struck by small arms fire in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. The week prior to his death, Maher was helping to make history by securing Fallujah in preparation for its people to vote for a new government.
A Marine first
Maher was a son, brother, grandson, nephew and beloved friend to many, but he was a Marine first, said all who eulogized him. And once a Marine, always a Marine. Maher was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps based in Hawaii.
One week after the Iraq war broke out, on Maher's 18th birthday, he changed his mind about attending Southern Illinois University and enlisted in the Marines.
"He believed in freedom and making a difference," Maher's uncle Dan Colin said at the funeral. "He was proud to be serving and proud to be a U.S. Marine."
Everyday hero
Maher was described by all who spoke at his funeral as an everyday hero who didn't have to put his life in jeopardy, but did so because he felt compelled to serve. His uncle Michael Maher said his nephew expressed concern before he shipped out that he would be a coward.
"I scoffed," Michael Maher said. "I said, don't be a hero. Do your job and get back here, but I told my son that Sean was already a hero."
Reading aloud a letter he wrote to his nephew, Michael Maher said Sean would always be young and strong in their memories, but sadly would never experience the moments in life that he so deserved, like asking a girl to marry him, holding his child in his arms, even being woken up in the middle of the night by his wife "to continue a conversation you thought was over."
Maher's uncle Tony Falco said of his nephew, "He didn't make us proud because he was killed. He made us proud because of how he lived."
Thousands of people attended his wake at the Almond campus of Warren Township High School last Thursday. Maher's uncle Paul Tyska said there were many visitors who did not know his nephew personally, but came to pay their respects as though he were their son, their brother or their friend.
"I knew it was going to be amazing," said Mary Lou Claussen, religious education director of St. Paul the Apostle, referring to the turnout for Maher's wake and funeral. Claussen said Maher was the kind of kid that everyone wanted to be friends with. "Talk about a kid that would give you the shirt off his back," she said.
Tyska said he was touched by an older gentleman who waited in line for hours to pay his respects at Maher's wake. Once the man reached the casket, "He stood at attention and gave a salute to his fallen comrade Sean," Tyska said.
Maher's allegiance to the Marine Corps was also obvious throughout his funeral service and burial at Highland Memorial Cemetery in Libertyville.
Neighbors, friends and family supporters holding American flags lined Gages Lake Road to salute Maher's casket, which was carried by horse-drawn carriage to the cemetery about a half-mile from the church.
As he stood on the street and watched Maher's casket go by, 18-year-old Tom Gudbrandsen of Gurnee remembered Maher as a teammate on the Warren Township High School swim team. Gudbrandsen said Maher, who graduated in 2003, was a good-natured student who motivated his teammates and kept everyone's spirits high.
"He made the whole team better. He made everyone laugh."
Maher's football coach at Warren High School, Rocco Oddo, who attended the funeral service, said Maher was an energetic, positive and unflappable young man determined to be a linebacker despite his perceived shortcomings. And he always looked out for the freshmen when he was a senior.
"What I always loved about him was that he cared about people," Oddo said. "He was such a smart kid. He had so much going for him."
Gudbrandsen said Maher's friends were concerned when they learned he had joined the military, but they supported his strong desire to serve his country.
"We were proud of him," he said.
As flags big and small swayed in the breeze along the road, Marines marched solemnly behind Maher's casket along with scores of mourners including Kirk Morris, father of 19-year-old Gurnee Marine Geoffrey Morris. Morris was killed in Iraq last April. He and Maher had been very good friends.
At the entrance to the cemetery, Maher's casket passed under Gurnee and Grayslake fire engine ladders that stretched high into the air, forming an arch.
At the grave site, which is visible from Maher's parents' home in the Woodland Meadows subdivision, mourners gathered in a wide circle around the casket. Two Marines carefully folded the American flag that draped Maher's casket and gave it to Maher's mother, Janet, who held it close to her heart.
Marines then fired three shots from their rifles into the air. A moment later, two propeller-driven, post World War II planes flew overhead in a breathtaking display of respect.
Maher's aunt Kathleen Falco said it was the most beautiful service she had ever seen, but that she never wanted to witness such a service again.

Photobucket

2005-02-14T18:29:00.000-06:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

First Post

2005-01-02T20:34:00.000-06:00

This is my first post and all I wanted to say was HI! omg! I am so sick right now.. I've been having pain on my right side and I woke up really really hot. Something is wrong and I don't know what. Well, I'm going to go for now.. Bye!